When Your Mate is Hotter Than You

I fell into this topic after a discussion and having been there. In short, when your mate is hotter than you, you can feel like Quazimoto pretty fast. So, how do you keep from ruining a good thing?

You’re a 3, He’s an 8…

While it’s difficult for any off balanced pair, this situation is especially difficult for women. Why?

Other women!

Females can be vicious when it comes to an attractive man they know being in a relationship with someone they view as less attractive.

This is usually  because of gender roles and the value women are programmed they have. Gender roles dictate that men typically seek the most physically attractive mate while women seek the mate most capable of providing for them. Let someone shake that role tree and all the angry nuts fall out.

The anger comes from fear and jealousy. The mismatch doesn’t make sense to many on a foundational level. They can’t figure out why, if their value as a female is in their appearance, someone who is a viable bachelor choses someone they perceive is beneath them. It puts their world into a spin, and they fight to eliminate the threat to their social conditioning…even when they don’t realize what they’re doing.

Jealousy is pretty explanatory, but being jealous of a woman they see as inferior will make the crazy bitch come out quick when that other woman “wins”.

Some women also make the assumption that he is using his less physically attractive mate and will unabashedly throw themselves at the man in an attempt to snag someone they see as being in need of an attractive woman. Easy prey, of a sort.

Yes, women are often secretly this shallow and treacherous.


What’s a 3 To Do Then?

Be confident. If your more attractive mate chose you, he isn’t as shallow as the women running their mouths. He is a man with emotional depth, and he obviously sees your value in more than physical appearance.

Count yourself lucky. Not because he’s physically attractive but because he chose you for more than looks. Because he is a person of character in this situation.

Flip those bitches the bird and kiss your man! He did, after all, choose YOU. An attractive man has women throwing themselves at him, as you may have seen, and at this point in life he is possibly no longer satisfied with looks alone (if he ever was).

ACT. Do something to build your confidence. Lose weight, get a haircut, learn how to do your makeup…It could be anything, but do something to feel more confident. Don’t change for him. Change so you feel better. It has nothing to do with him.



Whatever the basis for his attraction to you, enjoy it, honey. Rock his world. Love him like those shallow bitches never could.

Does he kiss you? Touch you? Tell you he wants you? Maybe…just maybe…he means that. Is it really going to hurt to stop questioning it and just enjoy the relationship?

And for Christ’s sake, do not let the other women get in your head! If you do, he will grow weary of reassuring you and being doubted, and they “win”. Your man should take care of anyone bashing you to him. If he doesnt, that’s a whole other blog post.

Love yourself!



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